A blog of our family of two moms and triplets.

I feel compelled to write an entry on some of these many e-mails I receive at work which are forwarded to me every day. They are cheers of people crying out on such issues as illegal imigrants and how we should offer them a free trip home. The pride of a North Dakota man who brags of making it through a winter storm with neighbors and no checks from the federal goverment (comparing North Dakota to New Orleans citizens).

I grew up 40 minutes from the North Dakota border and when the city of Grand Forks, ND was destroyed by flood and fire, the citizens of North Dakota received federal help and an outcry of support. I know, I grew up in a city also destroyed by the flooding and I have never experienced anything like the support that community felt worldwide. We need to focus on that, not how much money the people who have lost their homes might be receiving, because that is the very thing our country should be doing for its citizens.

We have problems, of course. Do we need solutions?..... of course. We are the number one country in the world in action. We are looked at for help, and we provide it. We should be proud of that. We should take the responsiblity of that very seriously.

I know there are jokes to be made. There are frustrations to be felt. It is not easy being this country. But it is important and we should feel lucky to be a part of it. These same e-mails talk of a Christian America. They say we should include prayer, we should not try and remove God from our history. Lets not let the letters embosed on a coin or said in a pledge replace the meaning of God. Let us be humble and proud. Help us to be an America that isnt divided and throwing mud in so many directions we clearly stop making sense.

Posted by Jaycie at 03:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

What is the culture of this country? Mitt Romney says that family values are important in this country. I agree.

Of course, we strongly differ in our ideas on family. What a wonderful world it would be if everything was so black and white that we could say every child deserves a Mother and a Father. Then by just saying that, we would actually mean that every child deserves protection, love, care, nuturing, and a path to a future. But being a Mother or Father doesn't automate these things. If what we really feel a child deserves is protection, love, care, etc... then why not just say that?

Well because it isn't really what Romney's concerned about. He is truely concerned with them having a Mother and a Father as a figure to provide the picture familar to his, or to his targeted audience at least. It is scary for many to think that two men or two women can not provide a home for a child just as well as a man and women can. Fear of accepting that fact is what guides his beliefs.

If we really feel that children, such as mine, are in harm.Then we should take some hard lines to protect marriage as an institution and to protect children. Perhaps I should be marked at annoucement of my sexuality as unworthy of having children nor working in a capcity to nuture children. Perhaps if being gay is inappropriate to our country's values and culture, a deportation should be explored. Or at the very least, lets look at making it illegal to be gay. Divorce should be outlawed,. The purpose of divorce is the demise of marriage. Well, here is an easy one. It should be outlawed except in certain cases, which of course, would be determined by our courts.

Wait a minute now............lets not get crazy. No one would support that. People like their right to divorce. However unfortunate a divorce is, it isn't any of the goverment's business. Lets start to talk again about gay marriage...........that effects fewer of us and therefore far more comfortable and safe topic. Besides, it isn't really that we are concerned with the demise of marriage. If it was, we would be talking about divorce. It is gay marriage we don't like.

Yesterday I heard Romney dodge a question by saying that it isn't an adult issue, gay marriage. It is a family issue and he was really looking out for the children. I guess this is his way of saying........hey I am okay with people chosing to live how they want, but now when it effects children. Interesting, lets explore. I encourage him to meet with and talk to children with gay parents to find out just how detremental it is. Lets talk about those findings and discuss. Actually those studies have been done show otherwise, but perhaps Romney has more experience wiht this and is a better source. I am a novice myself, but I bet I know the worst part of having gay parents. It is the same as being gay... you are different and people sometimes treat people who are different poorly and with a lack of respect or understanding.

Okay, so then because others will treat them different because they have gay parents, well we shouldn't have gay parents. Afterall it is about the children, not marriage.. But then why wouldn't we let gay people get married, just as so they don't agree to have children.

Wait a minute, I forgot what this was about after all... Oh yes, it is about running for President.

Posted by Jaycie at 06:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

At my sales class todaywe had to write down "head trash". We had to indicate what might hold us back. What elements catch you and make you say, if I only ......... then I could........ What ideas we have that keep us from being all I can be.

We had spoken about this very subject not long ago at home. Well, not directly in such context, but what we did realize was that we were going to have to start being more comfortable about who we are.

We live in the South and that isn't an easy place to be gay, certainly. People are not used to meeting gay people and they tend to be less accepting as a whole. Certainly you don't need to just be in the South to feel this kind of discrimination, but the bible belt pronounces it a bit stronger than other areas.

I am in sales and sales is about relationships. It is hard to have a relationship with people when you don't feel you can be completely open with them. When we had kids together, that changed my willingness, or perhaps better said, interest in omitting certain information. I have photos of all the kids on my desk and when asked if I have children, I answer yes without thought.

I know this sounds simple, of course I admit to having children. The fact is, it isn't really. Although I am quick to respond yes, I do dread the questions on what it was like to carry triplets and then have to say, well my partner carried them not I. I guess at casual introductions, it is easier to avoid such questions. Inevitably however, a good portion of those casual conversations lead to relationships and it is certainly harder to bring up the longer you let it go.

What do I want from my children? Well I want them to be in a world where they don't need to have this "head trash". Lucky for me, most kids don't .... until they get burned that is. But here is my biggest lesson. I have looked upon my life and my relationships and surely there are times when I have been shunned and times when I have been called horrible things or looked upon with judgment. Most of the times, however, I have been accepted and it is this that I must remember. For every one time that I have had a hurtful response, I have had at least 9 positive responses. Why should I choose to let that one time stop me from getting my other nine? I shouldn't.

Posted by Jaycie at 08:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I believe most parents would say that being a parent is their most important role. We all have many roles to play, whether it is being a successful employee, a friend, a spouse, or a neighbor. What is interesting about roles are the "qualifiers' involved. If you are hardworking, loyal, effective, driven, and efficent, then chances are you are a good employee. This is regardless whether or not you are straight or gay.

We were discussing roles the other day and both my partner and I remarked that being a parent is a role that is really not concerned with whether you are straight or gay. There are just so many more things to be concerned with. Being a parent comes with the awesome responsiblity, financial needs, daily worries and proud moments regardless. It is the most unselfish thing I believe that may be expected of me, to be a parent. I have to be understanding and then when I don't understand, supportive. I have to be strong and constant, even if I am trying to make payments to bills that seem to keep growing. I have to help my children explore a world I am sure that will sometimes treat them unfairly. I get to become a better person for it.

Posted by Jaycie at 09:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Know Thy Neighbor.Com

A good friend of ours is a member of a church that recently launched a web site called, Knowthyneighbor.com. The purpose of the site is to encourage dialog between those against gay marriage and those in support thereof. Such a site was launched in Massachusetts and it is based upon a petition that calls for the state level call for an amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman. The site compiles the signatures of those individuals in the state of Florida who signed in favor of such an amendment. Most of the signatures are the result of efforts made of local churches.

This was released with a great amount of negative reaction. For some reason, and I should know better, I was surprised. Apparently those who signed this petition were angered to know that others knew they had signed a petition of public record. Okay, being in the limelight is not fun. I know. Everyone who is gay knows the feeling of being targeted by another who may disapprove, or target them as wrong.

Lets be honest, everyone feels this at some point, whether you are straight or gay. It is not a comfortable position to be in. So, those on this published list feel this same “uncomfortable” feel. Okay, so they react with such statements as, “Well would Jesus do something like this?”. Well, that is a place to start dialogue. Yes, let’s start to ask questions. This is good.

Continue reading "Knowthyneighbor.com" »

Posted by Jaycie at 07:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Gay marriage continues to be a relevant topic. For the Republicans, an important battle cry for upcoming elections. For gay people it is a time to protect equality. For churches, it is a time of great debate. Our family is a member of the United Church of Christ. In 2005 the United Church of Christ voted to accept and perform gay marriages. Shortly after that vote was cast, our paster and her partner married. They had already spent 25 years together.

Posted by Jaycie at 04:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

My first entry into this blog should provide an introduction to parenting as I have come into the role these last seven months. My partner and I had triplets in the fall of 2005. We were surprised when we found out we were going to be parents of multiples. We have two boys and a girl. Initially I was scared for the health of my partner. She was 33 when she got pregnant and in excellent health, but this was an enormous undertaking for her body to go through. A much less immediate concern, but certainly a primary one - I didn’t know if we could handle it. The financial impact and time it would take for us to raise triplets almost seemed impossible. I think my partner and I both tried to mask just how concerned we were, but neither of us wanted to quite breakdown in front of each other. Certainly, with my partner facing such a high risk pregnancy, I wanted to at least seem somewhat capable of seeming calm. I am not sure to what success, but we made it this far.

Posted by Jaycie at 05:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)