I grew up 40 minutes from the North Dakota border and when the city of Grand Forks, ND was destroyed by flood and fire, the citizens of North Dakota received federal help and an outcry of support. I know, I grew up in a city also destroyed by the flooding and I have never experienced anything like the support that community felt worldwide. We need to focus on that, not how much money the people who have lost their homes might be receiving, because that is the very thing our country should be doing for its citizens.

We have problems, of course. Do we need solutions?..... of course. We are the number one country in the world in action. We are looked at for help, and we provide it. We should be proud of that. We should take the responsiblity of that very seriously.

I know there are jokes to be made. There are frustrations to be felt. It is not easy being this country. But it is important and we should feel lucky to be a part of it. These same e-mails talk of a Christian America. They say we should include prayer, we should not try and remove God from our history. Lets not let the letters embosed on a coin or said in a pledge replace the meaning of God. Let us be humble and proud. Help us to be an America that isnt divided and throwing mud in so many directions we clearly stop making sense.

Of course, we strongly differ in our ideas on family. What a wonderful world it would be if everything was so black and white that we could say every child deserves a Mother and a Father. Then by just saying that, we would actually mean that every child deserves protection, love, care, nuturing, and a path to a future. But being a Mother or Father doesn't automate these things. If what we really feel a child deserves is protection, love, care, etc... then why not just say that?

Well because it isn't really what Romney's concerned about. He is truely concerned with them having a Mother and a Father as a figure to provide the picture familar to his, or to his targeted audience at least. It is scary for many to think that two men or two women can not provide a home for a child just as well as a man and women can. Fear of accepting that fact is what guides his beliefs.

If we really feel that children, such as mine, are in harm.Then we should take some hard lines to protect marriage as an institution and to protect children. Perhaps I should be marked at annoucement of my sexuality as unworthy of having children nor working in a capcity to nuture children. Perhaps if being gay is inappropriate to our country's values and culture, a deportation should be explored. Or at the very least, lets look at making it illegal to be gay. Divorce should be outlawed,. The purpose of divorce is the demise of marriage. Well, here is an easy one. It should be outlawed except in certain cases, which of course, would be determined by our courts.

Wait a minute now............lets not get crazy. No one would support that. People like their right to divorce. However unfortunate a divorce is, it isn't any of the goverment's business. Lets start to talk again about gay marriage...........that effects fewer of us and therefore far more comfortable and safe topic. Besides, it isn't really that we are concerned with the demise of marriage. If it was, we would be talking about divorce. It is gay marriage we don't like.

Yesterday I heard Romney dodge a question by saying that it isn't an adult issue, gay marriage. It is a family issue and he was really looking out for the children. I guess this is his way of saying........hey I am okay with people chosing to live how they want, but now when it effects children. Interesting, lets explore. I encourage him to meet with and talk to children with gay parents to find out just how detremental it is. Lets talk about those findings and discuss. Actually those studies have been done show otherwise, but perhaps Romney has more experience wiht this and is a better source. I am a novice myself, but I bet I know the worst part of having gay parents. It is the same as being gay... you are different and people sometimes treat people who are different poorly and with a lack of respect or understanding.

Okay, so then because others will treat them different because they have gay parents, well we shouldn't have gay parents. Afterall it is about the children, not marriage.. But then why wouldn't we let gay people get married, just as so they don't agree to have children.

Wait a minute, I forgot what this was about after all... Oh yes, it is about running for President.

We had spoken about this very subject not long ago at home. Well, not directly in such context, but what we did realize was that we were going to have to start being more comfortable about who we are.

We live in the South and that isn't an easy place to be gay, certainly. People are not used to meeting gay people and they tend to be less accepting as a whole. Certainly you don't need to just be in the South to feel this kind of discrimination, but the bible belt pronounces it a bit stronger than other areas.

I am in sales and sales is about relationships. It is hard to have a relationship with people when you don't feel you can be completely open with them. When we had kids together, that changed my willingness, or perhaps better said, interest in omitting certain information. I have photos of all the kids on my desk and when asked if I have children, I answer yes without thought.

I know this sounds simple, of course I admit to having children. The fact is, it isn't really. Although I am quick to respond yes, I do dread the questions on what it was like to carry triplets and then have to say, well my partner carried them not I. I guess at casual introductions, it is easier to avoid such questions. Inevitably however, a good portion of those casual conversations lead to relationships and it is certainly harder to bring up the longer you let it go.

What do I want from my children? Well I want them to be in a world where they don't need to have this "head trash". Lucky for me, most kids don't .... until they get burned that is. But here is my biggest lesson. I have looked upon my life and my relationships and surely there are times when I have been shunned and times when I have been called horrible things or looked upon with judgment. Most of the times, however, I have been accepted and it is this that I must remember. For every one time that I have had a hurtful response, I have had at least 9 positive responses. Why should I choose to let that one time stop me from getting my other nine? I shouldn't.

We were discussing roles the other day and both my partner and I remarked that being a parent is a role that is really not concerned with whether you are straight or gay. There are just so many more things to be concerned with. Being a parent comes with the awesome responsiblity, financial needs, daily worries and proud moments regardless. It is the most unselfish thing I believe that may be expected of me, to be a parent. I have to be understanding and then when I don't understand, supportive. I have to be strong and constant, even if I am trying to make payments to bills that seem to keep growing. I have to help my children explore a world I am sure that will sometimes treat them unfairly. I get to become a better person for it.

A good friend of ours is a member of a church that recently launched a web site called, Knowthyneighbor.com. The purpose of the site is to encourage dialog between those against gay marriage and those in support thereof. Such a site was launched in Massachusetts and it is based upon a petition that calls for the state level call for an amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman. The site compiles the signatures of those individuals in the state of Florida who signed in favor of such an amendment. Most of the signatures are the result of efforts made of local churches.

This was released with a great amount of negative reaction. For some reason, and I should know better, I was surprised. Apparently those who signed this petition were angered to know that others knew they had signed a petition of public record. Okay, being in the limelight is not fun. I know. Everyone who is gay knows the feeling of being targeted by another who may disapprove, or target them as wrong.

Lets be honest, everyone feels this at some point, whether you are straight or gay. It is not a comfortable position to be in. So, those on this published list feel this same “uncomfortable” feel. Okay, so they react with such statements as, “Well would Jesus do something like this?”. Well, that is a place to start dialogue. Yes, let’s start to ask questions. This is good.

Here is the issue as I see it. People are uncomfortable. Humans naturally are attracted to and like to understand a world that is familiar. For straight people, being gay is not familiar. They don’t understand it. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t seem right to them – well then let’s do away with it? Why embrace it? That is crazy! There is no need for people to be Gay. ……. Is it harmful? Well yes, when suddenly I am surrounded by lifestyles I can’t relate with, then it harms me. Does it? If I am gay, does that mean your children are more likely to be gay because they know me? And if so, is that harmful? Those in agreement would quickly end the conversation with, God says yes. But let me ask you this, I say God made me the way I am. What if this is true? If you are one to follow the teachings of Jesus, then you don’t need to think long and hard about his messages to see that he himself didn’t embrace that of which the majority was comfortable. So what if God expects that we use what he has provided to us. What if God wants us to look past all of what we think we understand and then by faith truly ask the question, what is right? Lets simplify – is love provided with respect and care right? Do people become Gay just to deviate from God? If so, they why are so many gay people Christians? Gay Christians you proclaim? Yes, Gay Christians. Lets just start this dialog. It won’t be easy and for many painful, but it is time. Let us be open and let us be positive. Try not to let the fear of threats to your family write the conversation, on either end.